Good morning and HAPPY MONDAY!!!!
So, so many have heard me say that in an audio, but not usually in video. Welcome to the 2020 video podcast Monday Moment format. We’re glad you joined us. I’m Monica Wofford and this is your Monday Moment.
In January we’ll focus on some of the more common obstacles that stand in a leader’s way of becoming a better leader and leading in the way you and I both know there is potential. Now, in this first 2020 video podcast topic, let’s get to it. It’s called “Are you Being Prosecuted by Should-Gate?” Now what’s Should-Gate exactly? It’s at the moment, or string of moments, when a leader crucifies, judges, and internalizes all the shoulds standing in their way. So, if you’re playing the judge and jury in your brain and it’s standing in the way of you performing effective leadership, I think you’ll enjoy today’s topic. So, are you being prosecuted in or by should-gate? Well let’s see, judge and jury, yep we’ve covered that, internal voices – yeah, we’ll cover that. More to come on that topic later, but if you feel you’re overwhelmed by shoulds that are compelling you to make decisions you might not normally make otherwise, ask yourself these three questions.
Is Your Why Compelling Enough?
Number one, is your why compelling enough? In other words, is the reason you say you should behave this way when you’re in the presence of your boss, because there’s perhaps a trigger your boss has, or other dynamics in your environment that you’ve considered wisely? So your why is compelling, but if the why, or the answer to that question is, well, because they’ll judge me if I don’t act that way or someone will think I’m weak or stupid if I don’t do that, or it’s the only way I believe leadership can be performed or demonstrated, then you might want to look at the truly compelling nature of the answer to your why question.
Is the Benefit Big Enough?
Second, if you feel you’re being prosecuted in Should-Gate, ask yourself if the benefit is big enough. If you choose to conduct performance appraisals in one way, that is slightly different than perhaps HR prescribes, or has requested, then perhaps you have a significant benefit of doing it differently with one employee and going about it in the way you think is best. Small modifications shouldn’t be a problem. But, looking at your benefits is often something we don’t do consciously. So, ask yourself, is your benefit for shoulding all over yourself in this particular scenario, big enough?
Is There Greater Good at Play?
The third question if you’re being prosecuted in Should-Gate is this: is a greater good at play? I hesitate on that question because greater good is a concept that has a multitude of definitions, but if there is a larger overarching reason for you to do something that in normal circumstances wouldn’t be your behavior, I’d call that the greater good. If you sacrifice what you need, or what you want, or what gives you great energy in a temporary circumstance, or moment of behavior, because there’s a much greater good and others will have much greater benefit, then that’s a should worthy of your consideration. But, if the why is confusing, or if the benefit is not that big, and if the greater good is something you struggle to clearly identify… then yes you might be being prosecuted in Should-Gate and it’s something to consider getting out from under and finding a way to do differently. Because look, here’s the reality, leaders who spend their lives being prosecuted by the shoulds they believe exist, but may not be accurate, often cut short the life of their real potential.
I’m Monica Wofford and that’s your Monday Moment. Stay tuned next week for more barriers we’re going to uncover in your journey to leadership growth and development and if you would, take a moment to subscribe to MondayMoment.com, if you’re not already a member of our Contagious Community!
Monica Wofford, CSP is a celebrated leader who develops future leaders. CEO of Contagious Companies, her firm delivers and designs leadership training for managers who’ve been promoted, but not prepared, and the leaders who promoted them. Author of Contagious Leadership and Make Difficult People Disappear, Monica and members of the Contagious team may be reached at www.ContagiousCompanies.com, www.MonicaWofford.com or by calling 1-866-382-0121.